It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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