i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
