is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
