Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
