Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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