"it" just moved
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
