I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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