and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
