Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
