we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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