I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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