The maid of honor just puked.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
