I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
