It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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