It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
pop tarts are not kleenex
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
These tits shall not be calmed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
