Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
