i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize