Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
