you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
