just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
