The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize