ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
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