just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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