They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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