Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
