so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
