A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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