I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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