I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
