i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
