This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize