you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
