Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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