Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
