we have officially lost it.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
