there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
