So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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