Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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