used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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