yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
