Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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