Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have aggressive nipples.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
