All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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