i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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