Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think people are normalizing furries
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
