No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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