the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
