I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
