dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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