You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
