I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
