we have pet lesbian snakes
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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