possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I could fuck to npr.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
