So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's like iHOP with fire
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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