I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
