i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
