thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
