I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
