So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize