So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
