in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
