He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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