we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
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