i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
