how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
