Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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