my sisters under your porch take her home
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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