What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize