just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
