dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you never un-have a 4some
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
