GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
